Lying is a very serious sin. It is a violation of trust and faithfulness. However, there are times when it is not wrong to lie to your spouse.
In the book of Proverbs, the community of believers is called a husband-wife partnership. This partnership includes both sides at times, sometimes lying to each other and sometimes truthfully.
A lie can destroy a marriage because it takes away the truth that comes from authentic emotion and testimony. A lie takes away the truth and changes what was meant to be true into false.
A lie can go unnoticed for a short time, but when it is revealed, one party to the lie feels lied about because they were not honest with them. This can leave one side feeling like they were betrayed and dumped.
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But sometimes it’s okay…right?
We hear a lot about lying today. He-man mountain climbs with his cheetbook in his pocket, marital infidelity is a staple of the TV drama, and it’s talked about seriously.
But there’s a difference between knowing when to lie and lying as a strategy.
As hard as it is for most people to see their spouse lie, there’s still something deep inside that lies yearned for truth. When you find out the truth, you’ll probably be nervous and stressed out, but at least you got the truth out of someone else.
If your spouse was lying to you about something important, do what you have to do to get the truth out of them. If they were just lying to make you feel better, then let them know that it wasn’t fair or honest.
Don’t make exceptions for your behavior
Even in cases where your spouse lies to you, there are situations where you should not engage in defensive lying. For instance, when your husband lies about something that happened a few weeks ago, you should not say anything until a few days have passed and you have gathered all the information that he has managed to gather over the past week.
In such cases, you can tell him what happened last week, but if he has lied about an important matter, then the rest of your life may depend on you finding out what he lied about first.
The most basic rule when it comes to detecting when someone has lied is to look for truthiness.
Make amends to your spouse
After you’ve done your best to make amends, the most important thing to do next is to listen.
You don’t want your spouse to feel like you don’t trust them or that you don’t care about them anymore. So, when you notice behavior that you think is lying, talk to them.
If the lying happened a few weeks ago, ask them if they have any symptoms such as not spending money easily or refusing to give up something they were fond of. These signs might be proving trustworthy to you.
Ask them how they felt about themselves and whether their answers seemed okay to them. If the answers seem unconforting, consider ending the relationship sooner than expected.
Tell the truth
As mentioned earlier, lying is a form of deception. In most cases, it is not okay to lie to your spouse.
But the Bible does have some rules about what type of truthfulness is appropriate and necessary in a marriage. And one of the more clear-cut examples of truthfulness in the Bible involves telling the truth to your husband’s friends and colleagues.
It’s true that not all husbands are good at this. Some husbands are very honest when they’re alone with their own thoughts, but when other men hear from you that you’ve got a great job and a nice house, they probably won’t believe you.
But how much do you really need to know about your husband to keep him honest? Wouldn’t being able to trust yourself be more important than being able to trust someone else?
It can be painful to watch your husband go out with his friends, but it must be possible for him to tell the truth about himself as well as you.
Ask for forgiveness
When you’re lying to your spouse, you may also need to lie about asking for forgiveness. It’s rare for a person to sin without forgiveness, but in this case, it would be different.
If your husband has deceitfully deceived you, he would still need to ask for your forgiveness before he could start living his life away from you. The Bible says that we can forgive people when they make a wrong decision, but not until then.
Only after he asks for your forgiveness can you really give him the final say on what he does and doesn’t want to do in life. When they’re both clear on what they want out of life, they can start making plans to get it.
This is why it is so important for a husband to ask for your forgiveness before separating, especially if he has made a serious mistake such as lying.
Change your behavior
When your spouse begins to lie to you, it is important to recognize that he or she is not lying to you but to another person.
As a husband, you should know that your wife loves and trusts you more than anyone else. When you believe that your wife is lying about something, it can be hard to trust her completely.
It is important for your marriage to be on the same level as when you were in the honeymoon period of your marriage. You need to have fun together and for both of you to grow together. Having secrets between married people can hurt both of them because they don’t understand what the other wants or needs!
Surprisingly, a lot of couples do not discuss everything with each other because they feel like they must “put one over” on their spouse. It is important for everyone in the marriage to realize that one person might not say something, but a secret can hurt more than one person trying to hide something shows how much it hurts them.
Communicate with your spouse about lying
A major theme of the New Testament is the importance of being honest with one another.
The New Testament teaches that we should speak the truth from time to time, and live by this truth. This includes our lying to our spouse.
Many people do not realize that a lie can cost you money! It can hurt your spouse’s trust in you, and it may even cause problems in your marriage.
When your husband or wife lies, you should talk to him or her about it. You should ask them what they were thinking, and try to put them at their worst guilty stages.
Forgive your spouse for lying to you
As described in the bullet point, adultery is a very serious sin. Even if your spouse did not lie about something major, having a honest relationship is built on trust.
If you can’t trust your husband or wife to tell the truth in love, you may be dealing with a lot of other problems.
A big problem that can arise from a dishonest marriage is the denial of truth. When one spouse lies, it becomes difficult for the other to believe that something else might not be true.
This can lead to emotional and physical abuse, as one person must ultimately come out of their lies to admit what they are seeing is not true.
Physical health can also suffer in such a marriage because of lack of exercise and overall health.