A lot of people experience sibling hatred at different times and for different reasons. Some people feel hatred towards their older brother or older sister because of things they did as children. Others felt love but weren’t connected to their older brother or sister in that time period.
Whatever the case, sibling hate is a natural feeling emotion. You hate someone because you think they are unworthy of your love, and you don’t want them to suffer your lack of affection.
Sibling hate can be hard to shake off, especially if you were the one who felt loved but didn’t get any acknowledgment from your parents. It can be even harder to break free from when you are young, when your parents start ignoring you.
Getting into touch with your brother or sister can help break the ice between you, but more importantly, it can help heal a missing piece in your family by making one of you sound more worthy.
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I was a bad kid
We were born two months apart and our lives were very different. One of us was brought to the hospital by ambulance after the other mom delivered a different baby.
My brother was two weeks old when he wasn’t healthy enough to stay in the birth position. His mom held him under her arm as she ran out the door to get her bag of diapers. She placed him on her hip, coccyx-first, and walked with him as she laid one diaper on each thigh.
He spent most of his early life in a bassinet or napping chair, so transitioning to a bed or table wasn’t an issue for him. He just had to learn how to roll onto his side and put his hands behind his head!
At three months, he got his own room and I got my own little corner in our family room. We kept our respective furniture in that same location for the next year or so, just me and my brother here.
I was rebellious
In the past, you may have been rejected or abandoned by your family or community, which can lead to severe emotional pain. You may have felt desperate and alone, but that doesn’t mean you should return to those times.
Abuse doesn’t make you strong. It does not give you power over others. It makes you want to do things in a way that is illegal, unethical, and/or harmful.
At some point in your life, something else might make you feel powerful, ethical, and/or beneficial to other people. If you find yourself feeling good about what you do for a living or how wealthy you are, then it might be time to recognize that something is changing in your mind and personality.
You are more than just money or fame or any other single thing that defines who you are. You are more than just your job or where you work out or what type of workout they require. You are more than just how I feel about this article.
I made bad choices
When you’re young, you make choices that don’t always turn out the best. You may have done things that weren’t healthy, or that weren’t safe, according to your level of understanding.
Some of these decisions weren’t mistakes but choices made for different reasons may not be good for you today or tomorrow, but in the long run, may be good for you.
For example, taking juicing as a young person was not something people spoke about loudly at the time, but later on in life when they find out what it did to their health and body image, they might look back and wish they would have tried it earlier on.
By later on being aware of it’s effects, people can potentially gain more confidence in themselves to make their own decisions with juicing and health/fitness goals.
He’s jealous of my success
You might think your family is the best in the world, but your brother is seeing things from a different perspective. He’s jealous of my success and how well I get along with people.
He thinks I’m not spending enough time with him and he wants more of it. He thinks I care more about how well I get along with people and what they want than him.
He feels like he isn’t good enough and doesn’t deserve to be around me as much as I deserve to be around him. It causes a lot of tension in your home, which you both have to deal with.
He also feels like he can’t achieve anything like me and if he tries to he might fail, but you shouldn’t because we both try our hardest.
He’s angry that mom and dad favor me
Even though you love your brother very much, there may be a reason why he hates you. You may have done something to make him angry.
Some things cause anger, and when it happens, it can be hard to see the point of someone else. It’s like they just happen to be your sibling, family member, or close friend.
But, as you grow up, things start to happen that are not related to your parent’s love for you. Things go wrong more often than they go right.
That can make people feel like they are not appreciated or that something is wrong with them if they don’t get attention. That can make them want to show everyone how much they hate you by how upset they are with you.
This can be hard to notice and understand when it happens before the age of understanding what people mean when they say things mean something.
He feels left out of the family
There is a reason that your brother hates you, and it has nothing to do with your inability to understand him. Your brother feels excluded and left out of the family unit.
This can be devastating, as it takes away his focus on you. He may feel like he does not belong in the family unit, and his attention is being paid to someone else.
He may also feel that you hate him and don’t care about him, which can be devastating. You must never hate anyone or anything- this would only make you feel worse. Only attack people if they are guilty of something- do not go with the middle course of “they” and “you” because there is no proof of who is who and who is responsible for what.
If you find yourself unable to talk to your brother about this, then it would be best to just separate yourself from him until he gets help.
We had an argument that got out of hand
Our family is very close, and my brother is the only one who knows where I live. We have been in contact since middle school, and we have always acted like friends.
We argued a few months ago, but I didn’t realize it was this serious until later. We were both hurt by it, and we haven’t talked to each other since.
I guess he never learned how to speak his mind when we were younger, because now he doesn’t know how to talk to me. He yells at me a lot, and I can’t take it anymore.
I need help fixing this, because he keeps yelling at me for no reason at all times. Sometimes he even leaves notifications on his phone for me to hear him say that he loves me, but then he goes and argues with me.
We have different personalities
Most people believe that we are born with two personalities inside of us, a “main” personality and a “backup” one.
They call it an “intelligence” or “souls” level and uses tests to determine which one is higher. But we all have two personalities, even though we might not use both levels of consciousness at the same time.
The two sides of you work separately until you realize that you need to connect them together. When they join, it can be surprising how much energy you gain. You might not realize that until you stop spending so much time in one side of you and start spending more time in both sides!
One side is harder to connect with first, but if you can’t hard up the second part, then maybe you should look into re-training your second personality because it may be holding back your first.