Holding a grudge is a tough habit to break.
Tell the person what you are upset about
Grudges can hurt more than ever. When you hold a grudge, you are keeping someone out of the loop — their mind and thoughts in particular.
Grudges can last a long time, too. A grudge that has not been cleared can stick for months or years. This is what happened to Matt and Kirsty after Matt cheated on Kirsty with another woman.
They didn’t talk to each other for years, until Kirsty found out about the other woman and broke up with Matt. Then, they worked on their grudge together, making sure it was clear to both of them that they were past it and married still belonged together.
It is important that we realize how powerful grudges can be. They may not go away, but we can make sure they are made clear to both parties so they know they have passed it onto the other person.
Make amends for what you are upset about
When you’re upset about something, you can feel stuck. You can’t move forward and you can’t return to the way things were before the other person went out of their way to hurt you.
That’s why it’s important to make amends. You can do this by saying what you are sorry for and by taking steps to prevent another offense from happening again.
It is also worth considering whether your forgiveness should be recognized by others, such as if a change in behavior is observed.
If the other person needs to change too, then there is a good reason to hold on to your anger: It may be keeping you from seeing what they are being serious about later on.
Holding onto anger can back up into negative behaviors that happen again, proving that other people notice your lack of trust.
At the end of recorded human history, there is a judgment at which every person who sins comes. Unless you are a God-fearing person, you will be part of the group that does not forgive others for sin.
If you’re part of this larger group that does not forgive, what does the Bible say about holding a grudge?
Grudging Retaliation is Illegal In The Bible Grudge Retaliation Is Illegal In The Bible Grudge retribution is illegal in the bible. grudges can stay fresh for years. even after we are gone, other people may face someone we disrespected and Grudges Can Last A Lifetime Grudges Can Last A lifetime grudge can still be with us today. it may be hard to let it go.
Let God handle it
A grudge about a past event is not a healthy thing. Past events can make a re-entrance into the world difficult or threatening.
Although God does not allow Grudge Relatives to become angry with one another, He also does not prevent people from being angry with Jesus. Because God allows people to be angry with His Son, this should be taken as a blessing!
Anger is an emotion and an attitude toward someone or something. It can be positive or negative, fixed or shifting. A grudge is not a solution but should be let go of.
If you have a grudge, it is best to talk to someone else about it and do it Godly-style: forgiveness is the answer every time.
It’s okay to feel angry
We all have moments when we feel angry, and it’s a feeling we should acknowledge and appreciate.
Anger can be a good thing: It can help us recognize that something is wrong, and that someone is to be held accountable for it.
But don’t go too far when you’re angry. You shouldn’t hold a grudge anymore than you should drink alcohol or do drugs to forget what happened.
Neither does God suggest this in the Bible. Grudges are considered a form of revenge and are forbidden in God’s Word.
The idea is to get angry, but to stop gritting your teeth and becoming angry- This is called holding a forgave or resentment free forgiveness.
Seek spiritual guidance
Grudges can be difficult to deal with, because you feel stuck in the past. If you haven’t changed since then, you feel like you’re always holding onto what you were forced to do not too long ago.
That’s not a good thing. God wants us to forget what we took from others and He wants us to remember what He gave to them.
So how do we get rid of the bitterness in our hearts?
First off, don’t beat yourself up if you don’t receive a response from another person. You probably didn’t receive a response due to lack of faith or because the other person wasn’t ready for an answer.
If that person was a family member or close friend, then accept that they aren’t going to respond well to your request, but don’t hold onto that bitternessressofgrudgebusting.
Communicate effectively with your partner
Most religions offer forgiveness as a central concept. If your partner has hurt you, there are stages you can try to work through it with them and make it less of a sore spot.
Grudges can be bad thing. Sometimes people make mistakes and carry things from past relationships into their current one. By being resistant to forgiveness, this goes away.
If you’re in a relationship, it’s important to understand your partner’s point of view. When you can see their side of an issue, you will be more willing to listen and agree with them.
When someone in the family or close to someone causes trouble, it is important to get help so that the person can stop being behaviorally inappropriate and emotionally competent people can come back into wholeness.
Look at the positive things in your life
The ability to hold a grudge is a symptom of poor self-worth. People with low self-worth look back to when they were perfect and everything they did was great, and they carry that resentment against everything that wasn’t perfect in their life.
Holding a grudge is the process of continuing that negative energy by not forgiving people who hurt you, no matter what they do to make up for it. People with a lot of anger need to be careful about how much time they spend in their anger.
Too much time in your anger can result in depression, stress, and even health problems.